苦戀不一定是浪漫 不必欺騙人
孤單不一定是寂寞 掛少一個人
花一生追逐動地驚天 真的太苦心
friendly reminder
dont let yourself get hurt,
dont go all dramatic again.
i've had enough dramas, i'm 20 already.
we are too young to put love as first priority
when you have decided to put the focus back on yourself,
you should be glad that you've got someone who is understanding enough to accept that and let you go.
you should be glad that you've got someone who is understanding enough to accept that and let you go.
Fenner Home．3
圖一）和爸爸媽媽玩 facetime。我帶媽媽參觀樓下的廚房，然後把我的雪櫃、廚櫃都秀給她看。媽媽在煮飯，她把電話擱在料理台上，一邊調味一邊跟我聊。我說，叫爸過來我們拍照阿。掛線後把照片 whatsapp 給媽媽，她回我：你阿爸好少笑，要買六合彩喇！
圖二）無論是去 civic 抑或回校，都會經過這樣的公園。這裡好像有無盡的藍和長青的綠，單是看就讓人心擴神怡。隨意拍下，都是一幅美好的影像。雖然最愛冬天，但這片綠茵我也好喜歡。
圖三）秋天來了，晚上的氣溫已降至五度以下。偏偏宿舍還有兩個星期才正式開動暖氣系統，我們這些房間向南的人（情況就如香港向北的單位一樣），晚上都冷得不能好好在房間幹活。昨晚我和 t 寧可屈坐在走廊聊天，都不願留在冰冷的房間裡。後來愈來愈多受不住冷的朋友加入我們，有人拿來幾件厚外套、有人帶了巧克力、我也弄來兩個暖水袋。就這樣瑟縮在走廊聊了好幾個小時。最後要回到「冰洞」的一刻，大家都很悲哀。
PS）有得必有失，是對的吧。即使你把一個人放在心裡很高的的位置，別人可能已把你拿下。「故事完了再不捨怎去追／定有點點難受／但當一切走過／你便學會接受失去」
加盟騎車一族
去年告訴老闆我要搬到母雷公咁遠的 fenner 後，他便說可以送我他的舊單車。上星期終於去了試車，然後把車子騎回去了。嘩頂快到丫，只消一秒便從學校回到宿舍。可是車子很高很高，又是男裝車，上下車時好狼狽。幸好 JL 願意和我交換他矮一點的女裝車，騎得輕鬆多了。
前幾天天氣好，便決定騎到附近的公園裡看看書、在草地上睡睡懶教。那才是我第二次騎車，單車鏈突然斷掉，不是鬆脫、是真的斷開了。連單車達人 N 也說沒辦法，只好帶它去換上新鏈子，花了三十大元。好吧，修好以後又是一條好漢。雖然戴著頭盔是柒柒地，但全人類都一起柒就沒問題啦。騎車真的方便得我以後都不想走路了，耶！
軟弱嗎
心散的我和 L 功課做到一半，一同看了最新一集《How I met your mother》。前一秒還在笑到咯咯聲，下一秒便莫名地展開了一段很認真也很有意思的對話。從他訴說對遠方的女友的思念、遠距離戀愛的困難開始，然後我們為人愈大愈無法談一場簡單的戀愛而感嘆，繼而談起將來、他的人生觀、和我對將來的憂慮。
"You are lost, because you have a future. You know that it's not something crappy and it's out there. Some people just don't have it. You don't even know what's gonna happen tomorrow. Tomorrow is a mystery. Things could change completely, just like what had happened to me on 11th march 2011. Right now, I have an assignment to worry about, why would I put all the stress of worrying about the future on myself? I mean, of course you should have a direction, but it's not like you have everything planned perfectly."
忘了是怎樣扯到他去年經歷的人生低潮。你很勇敢、很堅強，我說。他卻不認同。
"But it has made you a stronger person."
"When it comes to the situation that you do not have other choice, you can only be strong and keep moving forward. You do not know where you are heading to, but you will get to somewhere."
"I'm only 20, but I have gone through a lot more than a 20 year-old should have." 抱歉讓他重提這麼沉重的經歷，也謝謝他分享自己的想法，這一切都讓我反思很多。可能只是他太累了，但直到剛才，我好像仍能從他的眼中看到他當時的愁緒和無能為力。這個老是喚我妹妹卻比我年幼的人，原來有很多值得我學習的地方。Thank you, big brother.
"You are lost, because you have a future. You know that it's not something crappy and it's out there. Some people just don't have it. You don't even know what's gonna happen tomorrow. Tomorrow is a mystery. Things could change completely, just like what had happened to me on 11th march 2011. Right now, I have an assignment to worry about, why would I put all the stress of worrying about the future on myself? I mean, of course you should have a direction, but it's not like you have everything planned perfectly."
忘了是怎樣扯到他去年經歷的人生低潮。你很勇敢、很堅強，我說。他卻不認同。
"But it has made you a stronger person."
"When it comes to the situation that you do not have other choice, you can only be strong and keep moving forward. You do not know where you are heading to, but you will get to somewhere."
"I'm only 20, but I have gone through a lot more than a 20 year-old should have." 抱歉讓他重提這麼沉重的經歷，也謝謝他分享自己的想法，這一切都讓我反思很多。可能只是他太累了，但直到剛才，我好像仍能從他的眼中看到他當時的愁緒和無能為力。這個老是喚我妹妹卻比我年幼的人，原來有很多值得我學習的地方。Thank you, big brother.
人如白紙太潔淨就沒意思
- 即興。半夜十二時計劃出門，不出半小時大門已出。我說這晚只求開心，其他的事我不要想。可是整夜心不在焉，一直假裝非常投入非常落力的跳。友說 tonight is for getting drunk，我卻前所未有的清醒，別的朋友聽了都嘖嘖稱奇。不過清醒，是好事來的。
- 清晨六時多走上天台，邊閒聊邊等待太陽伯伯蒲頭。和朋友在天台看日出，是我一直想做的事。看到太陽升起的一剎，當晚的不快頓時放下了。像個達成了願望的模擬市民，期望值叮一聲升上白金。
- de-stress drinking session，今早起來斷片如以往。以為最後照顧著我的會是一起遊戲的其中幾個朋友，直至看到桌上的信，才知原來是 L、C、特地下來看我的 mum 和 J，還有生病的 N。醒來時看到他們把我的床和枕頭都用垃圾袋封好，以防我吐在床上、旁邊就是垃圾筒、枕邊有一支水、桌上還有一大堆食物，很感動。
- 前晚朋友說，"i actually have heard about you even before i knew you. people were like, do you know this phoebe girl?"；昨晚才認識的兩個朋友亦不約而同地說，"oh so you're THE phoebe!"。我有理由相信，自 commencement 那夜起，我已在 fenner 成名……。
it was never about the distance or the frequency we talk.
我費盡唇舌嘗試化解我們之間的誤解。可是當最好的友說對我的感覺早已不再一樣，我知道那並非一朝一夕的誤解。那豈只誤解那般簡單。
我想起那個半年前闖下的禍。那一次，她並沒有離棄我。我反思自己做的不好的地方，知道自己老是探索朋友底線的盡頭、知道自己不是一個好朋友，卻沒有認真的改過來。很諷刺地，前兩天對另一朋友說了一席話："she's spoiled by friends. she won't learn the lesson until people can't stand her anymore and finally leave her."
我自己，還不都一樣？
我想起那個半年前闖下的禍。那一次，她並沒有離棄我。我反思自己做的不好的地方，知道自己老是探索朋友底線的盡頭、知道自己不是一個好朋友，卻沒有認真的改過來。很諷刺地，前兩天對另一朋友說了一席話："she's spoiled by friends. she won't learn the lesson until people can't stand her anymore and finally leave her."
我自己，還不都一樣？
獲益良多
原以為長達兩小時的普通話試班，半小時就完成了。事前花了好些時間備課，而且面對的只是幾位中心裡的同事，過程比想像中順利。
同事們都很意外怎麼我是香港人普通話卻講得這麼好。聽他們說，他們的香港朋友都講得很爛。我說多得小時侯追看《還珠格格》時，姐姐禁止我聽粵語配音，為以後打了很好的基礎。記得最初常為此跟姐吵架，還好家裡有兩部電視，每次我都退避到爸媽的房間聽廣東配音。不過漸漸習慣以後，後來看《懷玉公主》時已演變成非聽原聲不可（有時候會懊悔，如果當年看的是《friends》……嗚）。他們對我的評價都很不錯，當然在教育這個我幾乎從未接觸的領域，我要學習的還有很多很多。以後會多去觀課，相信不久以後就能上第一節的語言課了。
glad that i've done all of them at some point
although, my friend did say the point of being a ug student living away from home is eating whatever you want whenever you want, waking and sleeping whenever you want, going out and staying in bed whenever you want, getting wasted, gonig out late, running out of food, looking like youre living in a doghouse etc etc..quoted from W.
i do not care what people think about me, or how they're saying i'm being naive or thinking like a child, coz at this point of my life, freedom means everything to me.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)